When things are not going your way, have you ever asked yourself, “Why me?” Well, years ago, a saying came to me about this question, “Why me?” I’ll share it with you today:
People say, “Why me?”
And then they don’t answer the question.
We all have said, “Why me?” So what do I mean when I say people don’t answer the question? Well, let’s take a look.
Life does have its tragedies and unmet expectations. And at times of great tragedy or unfair outcomes, we may cry out in anguish, “Why me?” Surely there is a place for sorrow and anger, and the question is well placed.
But too often, “Why me?” is a petty expression of self-pity. It is not really a question. It is an expression that says, “It shouldn’t be this way for me.” It implies that others might have to go through this, but I shouldn’t have to.
So when “Why me?” is just a self-pitying statement, people do not take the next step of answering their own question.
But what if we tried to answer the question, “Why me?” There is good reason to answer it. Self-pity does not serve us. In answering the question, we can avoid the paralysis of self-pity.
Oddly, the first step to answering the question, “Why me?” may be to ask another question.
What question might we ask? Well, let me give you a sample of other questions that one might ask to truly address the question, “Why me?”
What do I have to learn?
How can I grow?
What do I need to learn now about surrender?
How can I love more?
How can I be of more service?
How can I learn to set my boundaries better?
How can I learn to be more assertive?
How can I be more in the moment?
How can I learn to have more faith?
How can I learn to trust myself more?
How can I learn to trust others more?
This is just a sample of questions to ask when we fall into self-pity and ask the question, “Why me?” You may be able to think of more questions that are similar.
Let’s look at these questions more closely for a moment. If you think about it, all the questions I asked are really contained in the first or the second question: “What do I have to learn?” or “How can I grow?” In fact, the word “learn” or the idea of personal growth lies in all of the other questions.
Indeed, these two questions—“What do I have to learn?” and “How can I grow?”—are very similar and complementary questions. So when we get in the situation where we are feeling depressed and asking, “Why me?” we can turn the situation around by taking the next step. The next step is to ask, “What do I have to learn?” or “How can I grow?”
If you ask one of these questions, you may finally get the real answer to “Why me?”—the big-picture answer to why you are going through what you are going through.
And you won’t be one of those people who ask the question, “Why me?” without answering it.
This is Glenn Stevenson with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching. I wish you answers to the questions about “Why you?” If I can support you in figuring it out, give me a call.