A major way that we keep ourselves from happiness is by believing that we need to accomplish a bunch of tasks or achieve a goal before we can be happy. Life does not have to be this way.
The list of things I think I have to do is often a mile long, with things great and small. Promote my practice, do my billing, get my home in order, do the wash, read my email, buy that computer back-up device I need, take the dog to the vet, find a handyman to make that household repair, pay my bills… This is what my list can look like. What about yours?
I fall into the trap of thinking that if I can just get through all these things and accomplish my goals, I will be happy. Yet at the end of these lists, yours and mine, is not happiness. This is because there is no end to the list. As I accomplish things, more things get tacked onto the bottom. And what happens to happiness in the meantime?
Doing things, of course, is an important part of our lives. In fact, I am reminded of a central tenet of life coaching that promotes “forwarding the action.” The action is toward those things we want in our lives and are supposed to make us happier. The problem arises when our actions become demands on ourselves.
Let’s take for an example something that, if we have it in our lives, would tend to make us happier. Orderly, uncluttered space can give us a sense of ease and freedom. Yet if the work it takes to create an orderly space starts to weigh on our minds and becomes a demand, then we have lost in the moment what we are trying to create. So let us give up the striving, and be happy with the way it is for now. This is not to say do nothing. It is to say that taking action is important only if it does not create the distress that we are attempting to alleviate.
So how do you “be happy now” with all that is going on? There are a number of ways, but I will suggest two powerful ones.
The first is acceptance. Take a breath and accept the way things are. Then take the action toward how you want things to change.
The second is gratitude. Think of ways you are grateful for the way things are, and see how that shifts your attitude toward happiness, right now!
All in all, the key is to “be happy now.” Don’t postpone happiness until all your projects are complete or your goals are reached. If you do, you may wait a long time. Be happy now. Then from this state of being, go ahead and take action. That way you can be happy now, AND be happy when you have accomplished your results as well.
This is Glenn Stevenson with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching. Until next time, I wish you happiness now!