Finding the good in all things is something that can transform anything and everything in life. I am amazed when I run across people who have the ability to do this, without being Pollyannaish. They are teachers to me, and I wish to pass on their wisdom to you.
Let me describe these amazing people. When something adverse happens, or what most of us would consider adverse, they come up with a different way of looking at things that gives them a positive slant. For instance, one of my friends had a cat that began spraying in her house. My friend liked to keep her home neatly arranged and kept. So when the cat sprayed, it was trying to my friend. But as she cleaned up, my friend would say that she was grateful to the cat, because it was helping her clean and keep a well-kept home. Now that is a different slant! My friend worked to find ways to stop the cat’s behavior, but in the meantime, she avoided many of the upset feelings most of us would have from what the cat did and the cleaning up.
Essentially, I am talking about reframing into gratitude. Reframing into gratitude is looking at something from a different point of view, a different frame, and tacking on some gratitude. Every cloud has a silver lining, and reframing into gratitude means finding that silver lining. Looking at a situation from the different angle helps us feel better. Reframing into gratitude helps us live life more easily and with greater joy. Another way to say it is, “I choose joy.”
Another example arose from my mother, who was diabetic. One time, her glucose monitor was not operating properly, and I offered to help. I had helped her before by cleaning the measurement window, which read the glucose level in a drop of blood. Well, this time when I cleaned the window, the monitor still did not work. I began to get frustrated that I had worked on this device so many times and it was becoming more and more finicky. I began to have those irritable thoughts of “This dumb machine!” and “Why can’t things work right?”
However, I stopped myself and looked for a way to be grateful that the malfunction was occurring. I decided to think of it as giving me the chance to show my love for my mother by calling the manufacturer and checking on returning it under warranty. This new frame gave me a different emotional response, one that I enjoyed more. It turns out that when I called the manufacturer, they told me that I had been cleaning the wrong little window. No wonder the device was becoming more finicky over time! Cleaning the correct window cleared things up right away, and more permanently. By looking for a way to be grateful before I called the manufacturer, I had saved myself unnecessary upset and frustration.
So reframing into gratitude—finding the good in all things—has immediate benefits by putting more joy into our lives. It also may bring further good to us because we are just more pleasant to be around. Try it today on one thing, and see how it works for you!
Let me also say that the examples I have given for reframing into gratitude involve relatively small things in life. Finding the good in all things applies to the bigger events in our lives as well, whether it be loss of a loved one, people losing a job, children having emotional or behavioral difficulties, or any of the other tragedies that occur in life. It can be harder, but finding the good in these things works also.
This is Glenn Stevenson with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching. Until next time, I encourage you to find the good in all things!