There is no shadow without the light.
We know this to be true when we see a shadow cast on the ground. I believe that this aphorism is true for each of us humans as well.
When we look at ourselves, we all too often see our faults and think of ourselves as inadequate or unlovable. Our negative self-talk sees ourselves as not good enough, unworthy, unlovable, stupid, not mattering, nothing, bad, or even evil. We have thoughts about needing to be or do something differently to be adequate, lovable, or acceptable.
These fears about ourselves can be thought of as our shadow side. They are a shadow of our true selves. We are not born with these beliefs. These shadows on who we really are arise after birth from our experiences. They arise from interactions with our parents, siblings, peers, teachers, coaches, and others. They arise because we are told things that are not true about us. They also arise from attempts to accomplish things at which we come up short.
These shadows are not letting the light shine through of who we are. Who are we fundamentally, at birth? What are the qualities that these shadows obscure? Although each of us has these qualities to varying degrees, I believe that we are born with a panoply of positive traits—creativity, integrity, love, caring, giving, kindness, capability, intelligence, insight, joyfulness, humor, lovability, generosity, altruism, a desire for justice, and much more. Because these are the qualities of who we really are and we know it in some deep, fundamental way, we realize that we come up short of these qualities sometimes, perhaps even a lot.
However, let us not forget that there is no shadow without the light. The shadow is just a figment produced where the light does not reach. Shine a little light on the shadow, and it disappears. The light is what is true and fundamental, not the shadow.
So it is with us. Our goodness in all its various ways is who we really are. Shine a little bit of this knowledge of who you are on yourself when negative ideas about yourself arise—which is just your tendency to live in your shadow side—and the falseness of your shadow disappears. Let not the falseness of the shadow make you forget the true nature of your light.
This is Glenn Stevenson with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching, saying until next month, may you live in the true light of who you are.
Image credit: Marcos Santos