Life’s been good to me. It hasn’t given me what I wanted, but it has been good to me. I think of this when I start believing that I should have things that I don’t.
How about you?
Most of us are pretty good at knowing what we don’t have and think we want in life. And we live in an age when thousands of self-improvement experts, life coaches, spiritual guides, motivational speakers, and a whole host of other people tell us that they know the way for us to have all that we want. We hear that we can do anything we want in life, if we just try long or hard enough. We are told that we are the only things that get in our own ways of having what we want.
Now I am for change and working toward goals. After all, it is the business that I am in. But there is a danger in being told that we can have anything that we want. It is a short distance from this idea to being dissatisfied with what we have. It seems to be part of being human to be dissatisfied with the way things are and to think that things ought to be different. But if we think that we can only be happy when we get what we want, we can easily overlook what we have.
If we think we can only be happy when we get what we want, we may plan how to get it and create expectations about how life should be. But this can cause problems. I don’t know about you, but my life has not turned out at all the way I expected. For example, I never expected to be a therapist and a life coach. As some of you know, I was an economist working on energy and environmental problems before I found my current calling. I fully expected to remain in my former career. I also had other expectations about family, the kind of home I would have, the kind of money I would make, and where I would live that have not come about. If my happiness depended on me getting what I thought I wanted, I would be in poor shape today.
But here is the kicker. What have I had? Life has been really good to me. I have had a graduate education (actually two!); lived, worked, and traveled in Europe, Africa, and Asia; written a book; had relationships with wonderful people and pets in my life; and had many opportunities to learn and grow through various programs and learning experiences. Life has given me a lot, and thinking about what I have instead of what I don’t raises me above the grousing and discontent about how I think things ought to be.
Life hasn’t given me what I wanted, but it has given me a lot—and therein it has given me what I really wanted. What do I mean by that? What I really wanted was happiness, contentment, and companionship with others. When I look at what life has given me, instead of what it hasn’t, I automatically see things through the eyes of happiness and contentment. Inherent in considering what life has given me as being enough is the happiness and contentment I sought.
So how about you? What has life given you? Life has given you a lot of goodness, if you just look with the eyes to see it. And what a great platform from which to pursue the goals you have for yourself.
This is Glenn Stevenson, with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching. Until next time, I wish you the ability to appreciate what life has given you.