Most of us have something with which we are struggling or we would like to be different. In a word, adversity arises, and we have to decide what to do. One’s attitude toward adversity can make all the difference in the world.
To address what to do with adversity, it may help if you can think of a difficulty that you are facing right now. What adversity are you facing in your life?
If you can think of something that is “not going right” for you, let me pass on an idea that one of my mentors used to say to me. She would say:
“Do you have trouble in your life? Well, I say, ‘Good. I’m happy that you do!’”
Why did she say this? Why should we be happy when adversity strikes? In fact, how can we be happy when things are not going right—when we lose a job, our child has major issues, our health fails, we don’t have enough money, or a relationship is in trouble or ends? These are situations that make us angry, sad, or fearful. How can we be happy with them?
Well, I say there is reason to embrace these situations and appreciate them. In adverse circumstances, we encounter huge opportunities to grow. We learn to think and do things differently. We will handle similar circumstances more easily in the future when difficulties stretch us and we learn new things. This is growth.
And as we embrace adversity, as soon as we say “Yes” to it, it does not seem so adverse. Accepting it transforms it into less of a struggle. We can even sometimes totally transform the difficulty into a positive situation for which we are thankful. How often do we look back on difficult situations and say we are happy we went through them? We often can even say exactly why the situations occurred to us. With hindsight, we know what we learned and what life gave us as a result of the troubled time.
It is finding that positive attitude while we are in the midst of trouble that can be difficult. Yet that is when it would help us most. So that is why I say, get in the habit of embracing difficulty. When it comes along, expect good things to come from it. Use the wisdom of experience that change and growth come from difficulty and apply it to your current, adverse situation.
When we say “Yes” to adversity, it gets our creative juices going to find a solution. It can get us into action. When we face adversity, we learn more of what we are made of. It can bring out our best qualities. There can be something very satisfying about facing a bad situation, thinking about what we are going to do about it, taking action, and somehow getting through it. It is the stuff we as human beings are made of—to face challenges and get through them. It is the subject of some of our greatest myths and legends. It is what we admire in others. It can be what we admire in ourselves.
Adversity can help us realize that we are adequate, wonderful human beings, just as we are. Adversity frequently lies in external circumstances, and hence is not about who we are. Even if it lies within us, as in the case of bad health, or if some of our choices have led us into it, it does not change who we are at our cores. We are ever and for always, each in our own way, capable, lovable, and worthwhile human beings. Adversity can be about learning and reminding us of these truths.
So, if you have adversity in your life, I say, “Good!” I encourage you to be happy about it! Welcome it! Adversity has its reasons and its advantages.
This is Glenn Stevenson with Self Sense Counseling and Coaching. Until next time, I encourage you to embrace adversity and to grow from it.